Author Archives: xiaui macagba

That 12-hour ride from Siniloan to Mansalay

So my students are doing their practicum class in Mansalay, Oriental Mindoro. They are doing the Climate and Disaster Risk Assessment of that local government unit, in partnership with the Housing and Land Regulatory Board. I am one of their faculty supervisors that, as the title implies, supervises the whole course. They started their practicum class […]

Coming home

I feel like a prodigal child. If a home means a place where you are most comfortable, in terms of my career that would be teaching and research. I have been doing both since I started working, but separately, alternately. There were times when I had to give up one over the other. I have […]

Prelude to an ending

Bad judgment, bad decisions. Need to apologize. Take a deep breath. Nasty thoughts: “Grab the knife, Cut it off. From the source. No one cares. Cut it off.” Need to survive. An all-time low. Nothing’s coming. Immobile. No one is coming. Cry. -Xiaui Macagba, 2016

Youth by Daughter

Shadows settle on the place, that you left. Our minds are troubled by the emptiness. Destroy the middle, it’s a waste of time. From the perfect start to the finish line. And if you’re still breathing, you’re the lucky ones. ‘Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs. Setting fire to our insides for […]

Amateur

July is my birthday month. And to celebrate my 35 years of being awesome, I held a photo exhibit at Likha Diwa Vegetarian and Seafood Restaurant. Why here? Well, it’s an artist’s haven and budding artists can hold any kind of exhibit there for free. Of course, if an artwork sells, the restaurant gets a cut […]

Something to Write About

While waiting for my flight back to Manila, I read a post from Lang Leav’s facebook page. It says: Take me someplace where I can feel something – I want to give away my heart. Tell me his name so I can know love when it speaks to me. Give me someone I can write about. […]

Maynila

Nag-impake ako paalis, diba? Sabi ko lalayasan na kita. Sabi ko kailangan kong lumayo at kalimutan ka. Sabi ko di na kita babalikan… Dalawang malaking kahon lang ang dala ko palayo sa’yo. Naisip ko, mas mabuti nang kaunti ang dala para mabilis ang paggalaw. Mukha tuloy akong tanga nang lumipat ako sa bago kong bahay. […]

Lost and Broken

I am not in church or in my apartment, or in a cozy coffee shop as I am writing this. I stayed overnight in a hotel in Naga just because I didn’t want to stay alone in a huge, empty house with an uncomfortable folding bed. Also because the power was out in the whole […]

Grabbed from http://babiekinsmag.com/featurekins-maja-lindberg

Panaginip

Napanaginipan na naman kita kagabi, sa dinami-rami ng gabi, at sa dinami-rami ng mga taong pwede kong mapanaginipan. Kung totoo ang sinasabi nila tungkol sa mga panaginip, maaaring sumagi na naman ako sa isip mo o ikaw sa isip ko. Nakakatawa. Maaaring sa pagitan ng mga espasyo, panahon at ng magkaiba nating realidad  ay nagagawa […]

Hindi ito pagtakas

Naalala ko ang huli naming napagkuwentuhan ni Mama. Pinapagalitan niya ako kasi hindi daw ako nagpaalam sa kanya noong pumunta ako sa Basilan minsan dahil sa trabaho. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi ako nagpaalam kasi alam kong hindi niya ako papayagan at baka atakihin lang siya sa puso. “Ikaw talaga…” ang sabi ng nanay ko, […]